Processing Five

I am still learning how to say "I have a five year old". It is not an easy thing for me to say. I always start out saying four, which turns into a chattering jaw and a slight stutter into the word five, kinda like "Fou-I-Ive". Turning five is huge! Turning five sends us into the big girl section of the department stores and soon into Kindergarten registration. Not to mention I had the words from my past Childhood Development and Psychology courses pressuring me for the last five years. What if Freud was right and adult personality is dependent upon early childhood experiences and largely determined by age five? These first five years may have been the most important years of her life and my time as a parent. Such pressure.

Our first week of being 5 was awful! The attitude and the drama seemed to be multiplied by five. Everything seemed to be a fight and I longed for my four year old back. Than I realized that maybe my struggle wasn't that she had turned five, but that four was over. Four had been fabulous and there was so much that happened at four. She started skiing, she started reading, she started basic math, she learned how to ride a two wheeler and so much more. Maybe it wasn't her that had the attitude, but maybe it was me. As wonderful as four was, I'm exhausted!! It was a full and amazing year and I am tired and this new jump to five had left me overly sensitive. Hannah will never be four again, but this will be the only time she will be five and I am going to enjoy it, even if it means she takes the lead on more. I pushed and encouraged our way through all the wonderful things she learned at four and now I am going stand behind her and watch as she grows in those things.

Even if Freud was right and Hannah's personality is largely determined by age five. She is independent, dramatic, stubborn, smart, fearless, caring and willing to try anything and I am so in love with her and this job that God has given me to be her mother.